The Grumpy Monkey

We bought a house!

Hello there! Long time no write due to being involved with a short sale. But in the end, after 5 months looking and 3 months under contract we bought a house! Well, really we bought 2 houses on one property. In one fell swoop we became homeowners and landlords.

Most surprising is we have landed in Berkeley-a place I never thought I could afford to live and a place that has been the butt of many jokes told by me over the years. We lost 5 houses in a row in Oakland where our lives would have still had some flavor so had to settle on Berkeley. FYI-the cheap houses in Oakland-all gone.

Now comes the karma for yours truly-Berkeley is turning out to be a lot better than Oakland for me. First off no street activity and while I do enjoy crazy street people I had no idea how negatively all those years at our last apartment had affected me.

I no longer on a daily basis am assaulted with 50 or 60 motorcycles who's decibel ratings exceed that of local airplanes, strange unexplained screaming from the hotel next door, pimps, drug dealers, shady people getting high on my stoop, large scale drug transactions, gang activity, stealing, constant fire/ambulance/police sirens day and night, gun fire and my most hated of the lot-litter.

Not to say the the new place exists in a vacuum, the neighbors had a bad domestic fight the first weekend we lived here that included broken windows and a lot of crying(by the guy who was getting his ass thrown out by his wife). Loud and annoying but not my business and it happened at noon on a Sunday. Mostly the neighbors just came out to watch. I don't like to call the PO on family matters and there was no physical violence so we ignored it as best we could.

Our new block also seems to have a bit of a renter vs. owner battle going on. We were warned by neighbors that there are renter's living next door! I let him know nicely that for 24 years I was a renter and only had owned something for 6 days(I don't think "owning" is something  that enhances one's character). I have met most the people next door and they are just people. He took it well. 

We have joined the block association and are trying to figure out how to own a home while renovating our back house for occupancy. It has not been easy. I will share more specifics with you in the coming days but for now the goal is to rent the back house out by the 15th of Oct. We just finished the bathroom and are having a new sewer line installed(today) and that will bring us up to habitable. I am so sick of painting and cleaning and moving boxes I can't wait to rent our the back house and focus on the front. 

Haiku for Kira

Your comments sustain,
a monkey who is grumpy.
Dinner party when?

Let's talk about Testosterone.

I never thought taking hormones could make me feel like myself but that is exactly what happened. From the first shot I had this new pleasant grounded feeling. T does not make you feel speedy or give you a false sense of strength, those are not the feelings I am referring to, T has give me a sense of normality. I actually feel normal for the first time in my whole life. That is a good feeling.

I do have to give myself the shots. I could go to the clinic every 2 weeks or ask a friend to help me but I decided I needed to be able to do this on my own. I would say I have a love/hate relationship with injecting the T. The pros are-I can do it when it is convenient to me, I don't have to carry medicine and syringes back and forth to the doctor, and I remain independent. The cons are needles hurt when you poke them into yourself, worrying I will get confused and miss a step in the injection process, and because this is new to me, I sometimes can't inject in the site I picked due to pain and must change needles and try again 3 or 4 times to get the shot in me.

I have hit a vein, which scared the fuck out of me. If I injected into a vein it is a life threatening situation and I must go the the emergency room immediately. The day I hit a vein I had already used 2 needle tips, they dull quick. I finally got the needle into my thigh muscle and then pulled back the plunger to check if i was in a vein and the syringe turned bright red. So I used 4 needle tips, 2  syringes and double the T, it took 30 minutes and by the time I got it into me I was crying.

Funny, T does not stop my prolific ability to cry at any moment.

It's not always so hard nor am I complaining. Think of it more as reporting. That's the facts, that's what happened. It took a week of talking with myself to get my courage up and not go to the doctor for my next shot. Even after all these challenges I still want to give myself the shots.

I have one funny story. Sometimes, when I give myself a shot the T leaks back out. After all that hard work the second I remove the needle that clear liquid I want in me so bad slowly oozes out. That is frustrating in the extreme. The doctor said she cant figure out why and said just sit there for a few minutes and apply pressure. So, after a shot I sit there for 5 minutes, without flexing my thigh, not an easy feat.

Next post I will tell you how you get testosterone and the difficulties of keeping a regular supply on hand.

A very good explanation

Hello All, long time no write. But here I am to clear up what has been going on since September. Let's not beat around the bush-I am transitioning from female-to-male. I am transgendered and have decided it is not healthy for me to continue to express myself as a woman. So, starting in November, I began hormone therapy and am feeling much much better.

A little surprising you say? Well, no one is more surprised than me. After a lot of therapy and giving up drinking I was finally able to see why I have been so unhappy and confused my whole life. I am not a girl. So, when you think of the Monkey now please picture him as a boy monkey.

I guess transitioning is not a good enough reason not to have written for 8 months, this is the Bay Area after all. The other reason I was not writing here was because I was writing a book. A book about my transition. I finished the book last week, not the transition ;). Now I want to find a way to get it published.

I am thinking about posting the first chapter or a couple excerpts here, what do you think?

I also have a lot of stories I will share with you that didn't make it into my book. So check back from time to time, this blog is now back!

A friend I made on my way to work...

I live and work in Oakland CA. Can you believe this is the wildlife I ran into today on the walk from the parking lot to the building where I work. Yes that is a ray down in the water. I took the picture with my cel and was shocked that you can actually see it.

Lake Merritt here in town is a salt water lake and is fed from the Estuary which is part of the Bay. Lake Merritt and the feeder canals have sharks and rays and lots of different kinds of ocean creatures.

This guy was big. I am about 20 feet above it on a bridge. It had to be 5 feet across and it was beautiful to watch it glide around below me. The water was shallow and clear. I could see it's eyes and hoped it could see the smile on my face.

It has been so hot here for a few weeks. I work, like a lot of bay area people, in a non air conditioned building. It has been 100 degrees in one of the rooms where I regularly work. We have all been valiant in not abandoning our posts but it has been too much. On my drive to work this morning I was wrestling with myself about if I could tough it out one more day.

I parked my car and was grumpily trudging toward work when something made me stop and look down over the railing. Watching him swim made me happy and peaceful which led to a great, if hot, day.

Dog

Last month during the heat wave I was off from work and home playing Oblivion. I was so hot and had been and would be for a few more days. It was 98 outside and the coolest place inside my house was 91.

I was mildly aware that I was hearing something "not in game land." Perhaps you have a partner or loved one who plays video games, when I am playing I CANNOT HEAR YOU. Not at all, not one word and if I could I would not care. That is how fun video games are, so go buy yourselves some and enjoy.

It was not a scary sound but it was somewhat regular and close. I ignored it for about an hour until my big boy cat jumped in my lap causing all kinds of yelling and game immersion to stop. Then I heard it-a dog barking. I walked over to the window and there was indeed a big white dog in my yard, barking.

It was sitting in the middle of the yard and every few seconds it would bark. I decided to go downstairs and take a closer look. By then it was standing on the sidewalk looking up and down the street. It looked so intently up the street I too looked up there expecting to see someone standing there waiting for the dog.

There was no one there. The poor dog looked upset and continued looking up and down the street. I could see it was not wearing a collar and was pretty big. Maybe 50 lbs. While I watched it walked up to parked cars and looked in the windows. That struck me as pretty odd but it was blazing hot out.

I decided to take the dog some water, see if it was nice, and in the fantasy part of my brain run away to the beach with my new canine best friend. That fantasy part moves so fast compared to my other more rational parts that the dog and I were best friends by the time I was downstairs with the water.

When I opened the door I realized two things at once-this dog was a lot bigger than 50 lbs. and I was possibly doing a very stupid thing. So from the doorway I whistled, the dog looked at me and I told it firmly to "Sit!"

It sat. I came down the stairs with the water, the dog continued to sit. Good, then when I was about 12 feet away I put down the water and the dog rushed at me. It snapped at me but I stood right up and yelled "No!" The dog backed up a bit and it easily could have run away, I had not blocked it in or cornered it.

The dog backed up to about 10 feet away, dropped its head and raised its hackles. It's tail went under its legs and it began to growl. I wondered very calmly how much defense the plastic bowl would be if I choose to bend down and pick it up. It made a couple more growly noises and started to circle to my left. I didn't know what to do so I kept eye contact with the dog and edged my way to the door. Made it in while the poor dog growled to itself in the yard.

I did not want to call animal control but I did. The dog was not well, it was 98 degrees out and someone was going to get bit. I called, told them about the dog and I felt bad. I figured someone had dropped it off on our street that morning and it was "waiting" for them to come back and get it. But they were obviously not coming back.

Hours went by, others were startled by the dog but animal control didn't come. All night long the dog sat in our yard and barked and growled. It was pretty scary but at least with that behavior no one else tried to go near it. The next morning it was still walking up and down the street. When The Wife and I had to leave for work we waited until the dog to wandered up the street. It was going to be another hot day.

When we got home late that night there was no no dog, only a very scary message from the OPD telling us to come outside and identify ourselves to the police. Apparently the OPD showed up in the late afternoon and we had not waited the 30 hours patiently in the house required for them to come and assist us with the dog. They were not pleased on the phone at all, but really neither was I. The dog was gone which made me real sad. It was obviously sick and/or traumatized, but no being deserves to go to the pound.

Cracktivity II

Edit-I posted this when I was angry, hungry and tired and when i realized hat I took it down. But now that I am calm, rested and fed I am putting it back and leaving it. Also the night I posted it the cops busted him.

Well last night as I was getting ready to go to bed the crack dealer drove up and began selling his wares right under my window. He could not have not seen me. Yet he sold on, I called the OPD.

This dealer is unlike any we have had on the street. I expect him to put up a sign or use a bullhorn at any moment. And the thing that bothers me the most is now when he shows up he is accompanied by a 5 year old boy.

He was here yesterday afternoon, when I saw him I picked up the phone to call the OPD. As I dialed I saw the young boy. My body hung up the phone without my minds consent.

And since then I cannot stop thinking about that child and drug selling.

My first thought is-Why do I care what people sell outside my home?

If I put aside the noise made by the dealers and their clients, the pile of litter left behind every time they stop by, the patch in my lawn that is used as their urinal, the blocking off of my street as cars stop in all lanes and refuse to move, the stares they give me if I have to leave my house, I really do not have a problem with the act of selling drugs and/or using drugs.

My brother used to live in West Oakland. It is not a safe place to live and every time I visited him I was almost mugged getting from my car to the house. One time my brother had to come out of his house and yell at a person hassling me “She’s my sister! Leave her the hell alone!” This person then apologized to me and my brother, called him by name and told us to have a good day. When I told my brother I was gonna call the cops he said what for-that guy is harmless. I qualified his statement by saying that guy is harmless IF you know him.

I do not want to live in that kind of unsaftey-that is my second thought.

There is a saying in the carpentry business-”You have 2 weeks to fix a broken window.” This is a proven theory that contractors and carpenters talk about all the time. If something visible breaks on your building and you do not fix it in 2 weeks your building becomes an easy target for all kinds of negative activity(squatting, fires, prostitution and the like).

And living here I have seen this theory proven again and again.

This is how I feel when I see escalating drug activity on my street. Like if I don’t call OPD they will just keep getting louder and more aggressive and then the dealers will be on my porch.

The 3 thought is “Why do I care when no one else does?”

I live in an apartment building. There are other tenants who see that same thing happening and don’t do anything. One time we had a bad situation and I contacted the other tenants because I thought their safety was at risk. The replies I got let me know quite clearly that whatever goes on outside is not happening inside and I might very well be a crazy old bat.

So much for a untied front.

That leaves me with the last thought-”Am I doing the right thing by calling OPD on a dealer who has a 5 year old with him?”

That last one is my question to you all, help me out, before I become a crazy old bat.

Cracktivity

Hello All- Sorry for the down time the last few months. Of course I have a great excuse, I bought a Playstation 3 at he beginning of May and have not put down the controller until now. I am playing this game called Elder Scrolls:Oblivion and I can assure you my dark elf knight is kicking ass and taking names.

So back to The Street-things have been kinda quiet around here. Except for the 3 armed robberies(all in the middle of the day) across the street at the quickie mart. No one was physically hurt and I really feel for the family who runs the store. They practically live there and most customers are so mean I really don't know how the family stands it. (I do however wonder if selling alcohol, lotto tickets and cigarettes effects your karma in some negative way).

As I was running my dark elf around one day last week I kept hearing whistling and honking. This is not unusual but it went on and on till I had to go and look out the window. What I saw was a guy selling crack from his car to a guy on the street. Then the guy in the car drove off and 10 minutes later he was back honking and whistling on my Street. A car responded to his honking pulled up along side him and he sold them some crack without leaving his car.

Can you say BOLD?

Yes, I do know it was crack. As I have 2nd and 3rd floor windows I can see very clearly what is being passed back and forth from car to car as they are directly below me while "doing their deal." Also an admission-I am not some squeaky clean monkey. As a younger and unhappy monkey I turned to drugs and tried them all. It took a while to dig myself out of the hole I had made but I did.

Oh yeah, I called the OPD and gave them the license number but the cracktivity has not stopped it has just increased. At one point on Sunday there were 3 cars on The Street selling crack and I have one thing to say to these very loud drug sellers-

"Look up in the trees before you sell drugs on my street because I am up there calling you into the OPD! And for God's Sake stop honking!"

I had a dream.

I dreamt that Barack Obama was at my birthday party. He was so pleasant and friendly that none of us were freaked out at all. In fact every time he walked away to get chips or chat with other party guests we talked about how normal he was and how it was really strange that he was there-at my party.

He was wearing a suit without the jacket and had removed his tie and rolled up the sleeves of his white button down. So composed he was, there in my living room. Nothing was beyond his interest. He even helped The Wife fill the cake with candles, light them and bring the cake over to the table. He joined in and sang happy birthday with us and even thumb's upped my Deaf friend who was signing the song while we sang.

He laughed, ate cake, made small talk. He was the perfect guest in every way. The party ended and all the guests said goodbye. He filed out with everyone else, waving and shaking hands, got into his car and drove away.

So weird.

Other Fun on Maui

Yes these cute fish are attemping to jump from their beautiful tank at the Maui Aquarium into my arms and give me a hug. They are nice friendly fish but I shunned their advances due to the slime factor involved. The aquarium had everything, including hammerhead sharks and a great walk through tunnel. The Wife and I spent some time sitting in the tunnel watching the sharks and rays. It is a massive tank and it is nice and cool in the tunnel. Two men came in the tunnel and sat down on the other end of the bench. People in Hawaii are friendly, not the tourists vacationing there but the people who actually live there have a very different attitude. It is a nice lovely attitude that is often unbeliveable to a hardened city dweller like myself.

So we start talking to these two middle-aged, sun bronzed, big Hawaiian men. Turns out they are the fisherman for the aquarium! This means they catch the fish and sharks and rays and everything else that you see on display. I would love to work at an aquarium, and this is the job that I want. They told us the story of the giant puffer fish pictured here, she is a girl, by the way, and how she is 7 years old. They were so interesting and friendly it was hard to leave.

Yes, it is true, Monkey's are afraid of sharks-

Make sure to also stop by Dan's Greenhouse in Lahina. They have exotic birds and even better, baby mini pigs! Oh my god they are cute. You can touch them if you ask and wash your hands. It is the best when they get to squeling and running around.

My inlaws took us up to the northren part of Maui to look for donkeys. There is ranching on Maui and way out in the county there is a corral by the side of the road that is full of donkeys. They are friendly, especially if you bring carrots. It is also a great place to get free manure for plants. So we had a dual purpose in visiting the donkeys. On the way out there we saw what looked like a grey cat in the middle of the road. We drove around it carefully only to see that it was a mongoose eating road kill! And wow was it aggressive, it really liked eating whatever it was eating an did not stop. It was so unusual looking and great to get an up close look at something I never have thought I would see.

I am ready to go back!