I had forgotton this one.
My friend Fonzi(yes all my friends have nick names) stopped by yesterday and as we were chatting she congratulated my wife, dog eared girl on her new second blog. Umm, I said, that's my new blog, my wife is not very grumpy at all.
We all laughed and I realized I have been married so long I used my wife's email without even thinking and forgot to sign my name. Sorry about that! I will use my own email account from now on, smile.
Okay, back to that morning long ago.
It was a Sunday and I was getting ready for work at about 7am. It was a very quiet summer morning and had been hot for a few days. So all the windows were open. My house is really tall and we live on the second and third floors. I went into the dining room and noticed an old monte carlo parked a little funny right below my huge picture window. I was making coffee and finding keys, mostly I was dreading working until 9pm that night. I hated one thing about that job-every sunday, cause I was the newest, I had to work a 12 hour shift, then get up early monday morning and go back for an 8 hour shift.
I sat down to eat breakfast and my gaze returned to the car. I saw a guy sleeping in it. No big deal. He was not wearing a shirt but it had been hot all night. Sometimes people pull off the highway for a nap on our street. So I don't call the cops right away if i see someone sleeping out there. As I was imagining what my day would hold my eyes wandered around and then I saw sneakers across the street. Then a few feet away some pants....a shirt....and a few feet away from that jocky shorts....then socks.
The socks were right outside the monte carlo. Well that was intriguing enough for me to stand up and look out the window. Naked man! Totalty naked from top to bottom. I could see everything that I never wanted to see of this stranger. (If you would like to know if he was circumsized leave me a comment and I will email you.) Looking down on some naked guy sleeping in his car under my dining room window I have to say the grumpy started to rise.
There is always a moment of decision before I call the police. Many things are to be weighed. One being how much time before work is there; another is is this for 911 or non-emergency? The big one for me is are the little kids who live next door out? At 7:30 am on a Sunday they are actually late. I called non-emergency. The lady dispatcher was super nice and we had a good laugh. She said a car would be right over and boy was she right. I suppose even in oakland it was a unique complaint.
Two boy cops show up and pull right up behind the sleeping guy. They do some cop things and take their time getting out of the car. They approach one on each side of the car and start laughing when they get up the the front and see the guy sprawled out on his front seat. Why are they laughing? They know him!
"Get out of the car Roy!" says cop 1. "Roy" wakes up and looks appropriately shocked to see two cops. Cop 1 opens the door and starts to pull him out of the car. Then Roy realizes his is not wearing any, and I mean any, clothes. He starts to scream. I am not sure what he was saying or trying to say but I bet he was hoping that this was a bad dream. Cop 2 picked up the clothes off the street, searches them, and then the 2 officers get him dressed.
The cops can't seem to stop laughing while they are trying to give this guy a serious talking to. Then it becomes obvious they are going to let him go but first they are going to search his car. Roy is standing back behind the cop car with cop 1. Cop 2 walks back up to the monte carlo and glances in, then he sees something and moves back. He looks a little startled. He calls over the other officer and they open up the passenger door, move the front seat forward and reach in-pulling out with great effort and some yelling the tallest and skiniest crack whore I have ever seen.
Where had she been? I could see into the car and missed her. Maybe she was wedged between the back rest and the seat? Or on the floor under something? Man was she pissed off!
So were the cops.
They knew her too! They searched her and came up with what looked to be several things that did not please them at all. More police came and there was much discussion. This is what was decided.
Roy was allowed to walk.
The lady was arrested.
The car towed away.
I went to work.
HAHA! Keep the stories coming! Your street is hilarious!
Posted by: Robin | July 16, 2007 at 02:10 PM
This story is great! Thanks for the laugh. :)
Posted by: Angela | July 17, 2007 at 12:22 PM