Pimp Limo

Well I think this is one of my favorite stories.. although I say that about most of these stories..I am most sincere about this one.

I was coming home from work one afternoon and saw a flat bed tow truck pull up and park on my street, across from my house, with a 1970's limo. Later there was the sound of chains and winches. I looked out the window and saw that the limo had been left across the street. Or from my perspective it had been parked across the street in the middle of my picture window.

The next morning I had to work at 7am. So at 630am I tumbled out of my house in a haze and was greeted by this site- A middle aged man in a 3/4 length fur coat (a fur coat people!), holding a cane with a gold top, wearing a hat that defied rational explanation and shoes that were made from an animal so exotic it has yet to be on Animal Planet. Also with him was a woman, maybe 10 or so years older, dressed in old old clothes and wearing a fluorescent orange rain slicker.

She was hand polishing the limo under the direction and scrutiny of the man. As I warmed up my car I watched him being very mean to the old lady in the slicker. I had seen this lady in the neighborhood for a few weeks. She always looked close to tears and would be sitting on somebodies stoop. She never looked happy. She surely didn't look happy now.

The pimp (no I won't capitalize that word even though it is a proper noun) gave the old woman step by step instructions on polishing his limo, pointing here and there with his cane. She finished, took off and handed back the orange slicker. Then the pimp and the old lady got into a fancy town car and he drove away while shouting at her.

The limo never moved. It had blacked out windows except for the front windscreen. Technically that is illegal in California. But here in Oakland its not a big problem cause there are a lot bigger problems happening at all times. Wouldn't take it through the suburbs, they'd pull you over at the first stop light.

This ritual was enacted every morning seven days of the week. I thought the pimp had girls up at the hotel on our block. I had surely seen him around town before. It's quite an establishment, that hotel on the corner. The family who run it are immigrants and very nice people. They are always working on the place and cleaning up the mess left by their clientele. However all their rooms have back doors. Have you ever stayed in a hotel with a back door? I would invite you not to do so. The rooms also rent by the minute/hour/day. The hotel's moto is "The ----Inn, your home away from home." I have fantasized about going up there and changing it to "The---Inn, go the hell back to your home." Alas the monkey is grumpy, not criminally minded.

After a month of the limo living on our street, one evening around 11 there were raised angry voices. On my street that is a good reason to check what is going on. I went downstairs and looked out my picture window. Here's what I saw. The pimp and his side man had the limo door open and were pulling out a third man from the back seat. He was not the only occupant of the limo as I could clearly see a scantily clad woman. They guy being pulled out of the limo seemed surprised that he was no longer in the limo and was also not quite dressed.

At this point I turned on my dining room light which caught the eye of the pimp. I also called the cops and stood in the window so they could see me with the phone. Immediately all four of them took their business elsewhere. I had to hold for 10 minutes to get the cops on the line.
Here's what I told the dispatcher, a guy.

"Problem to report" he says
"Umm I have a limo that 's been left on my street-"
"Ma'am that is no reason the call the police."
"I think it's being used for prostitution."
"Excuse me, ma'am?"
"Someone parked a limo on my street a month ago and people are using it for sex!"'
"You mean it's a junked vehicle? That's a different number."
"No, its in fine shape but people are using it for prostitution-"
"You mean people are sleeping in it cause you can't do that!"
"No! Not sleep, sex, prostitution, sex for money!"
"Ah ma'am, are they sleeping in it now?"

That's when I hung up. A week or so later the same thing happenes again. About 9 at night, it had just gotten dark and there were raised voices. So I went downstairs and went right to the window. Same scene. Pimp and side man pulling out a different john onto the street. Inside a partly dressed woman looking none too surprised.

So I called the cops without turning on the lights. I thought since it was a week night I might get lucky and get right thru and I did. Here's the conversation I had with the dispatcher, a woman.

"Your problem please?"
"Umm there is a limo out front of my house and people are using it for prostitution right now!" I had been practicing what I would say since the last call.
"Excuse me? A limo?"
"Yes, a month ago someone parked a limo on my street and I can see hookers and johns going in and out of it. I called before-'
"Yes ma'am, I can see you called and reported a junked limo for towing- but not prostitution."
"Oh no, its not junked...for a month now we have had this pimp limo here and his people hanging out in this limo and doing quite a trade in hookery. Also to me it looks like they are trying to rob the "johns" like they are trying to do right now, which is why I called."
"Ma'am, are you are saying to me that for a month there has been prostitution going on in a limo parked on your street? That is not right! Not right at all!"
"I called before but I guess I was not clear."
"No ma'am, you are very clear to me, let me confirm your address and we will take care of it right now!"

So this nice lady and I exchanged some more info and she tells me the officers are on the way. By now the pimp and his entourage were long gone so I am sure when the cops show up there will be nothing they can do. No cops showed up, something better happened.

About 30 minutes go by and I am starting to get mad. Wondering if I should call back and ask what "we are going to take of this right now" really means. Then I heard chains and a winch. I looked outside and there was tow truck pulling the limo up onto the flatbed. Then they took it away.

I would have loved to see the pimps face when he brought the old lady to clean it and the limo was no where to be seen.

I need a web cam.

Comments

[Angela]

Bravo! Excellent story! I want a web cam of your street, too! :)

[Rachael]

You SO need a webcam. We would love that....

[Robin]

Webcam for sure! You could post on youtube. Yes, your street is becoming famous!

[Moody]

nice post