The Grumpy Monkey

Other Fun on Maui

Yes these cute fish are attemping to jump from their beautiful tank at the Maui Aquarium into my arms and give me a hug. They are nice friendly fish but I shunned their advances due to the slime factor involved. The aquarium had everything, including hammerhead sharks and a great walk through tunnel. The Wife and I spent some time sitting in the tunnel watching the sharks and rays. It is a massive tank and it is nice and cool in the tunnel. Two men came in the tunnel and sat down on the other end of the bench. People in Hawaii are friendly, not the tourists vacationing there but the people who actually live there have a very different attitude. It is a nice lovely attitude that is often unbeliveable to a hardened city dweller like myself.

So we start talking to these two middle-aged, sun bronzed, big Hawaiian men. Turns out they are the fisherman for the aquarium! This means they catch the fish and sharks and rays and everything else that you see on display. I would love to work at an aquarium, and this is the job that I want. They told us the story of the giant puffer fish pictured here, she is a girl, by the way, and how she is 7 years old. They were so interesting and friendly it was hard to leave.

Yes, it is true, Monkey's are afraid of sharks-

Make sure to also stop by Dan's Greenhouse in Lahina. They have exotic birds and even better, baby mini pigs! Oh my god they are cute. You can touch them if you ask and wash your hands. It is the best when they get to squeling and running around.

My inlaws took us up to the northren part of Maui to look for donkeys. There is ranching on Maui and way out in the county there is a corral by the side of the road that is full of donkeys. They are friendly, especially if you bring carrots. It is also a great place to get free manure for plants. So we had a dual purpose in visiting the donkeys. On the way out there we saw what looked like a grey cat in the middle of the road. We drove around it carefully only to see that it was a mongoose eating road kill! And wow was it aggressive, it really liked eating whatever it was eating an did not stop. It was so unusual looking and great to get an up close look at something I never have thought I would see.

I am ready to go back!

Whales, Dolphins and a Mongoose

Where can you see all of these creatures in a day? That would be Maui. It is my favorite place in the world. If you have not been there go, if you have been there why did you come back? I always wonder why I come back and then remember about work, my pets, friends and family. It is the only place other than the Bay Area I would ever want to live.

That is my favorite beach, Airport Beach. Coming north out of Lahina(there is only road) turn left at the Sugar Train and go down to the beach. If you are lucky you will meet my friends, the turtles. This is a picture I took of the Mama-San turtle as she glided by me in the water. I did not swim up to her or bother her in any way, she just wanted to say hello I guess.

The island in the background is Lani'i and is a fun place to spend the day. I have gone there twice, the only problem is you have to go on a boat. Have you ever seen a monkey on a boat? Well its not so pretty. We go out through a company called Trilogy.

The people who run this company really have the right idea. They are kind, knowledgeable and professional. They do all kinds of trips but both times we have choosen to go to Lani'i beacause of the fantastic beach they bring you too. This time there was a pod of 100 spinner dolphins. They came into the bay and played about 200 feet out. Sadly a bunch of people on our trip swam out to them. The dolphins come into the bay to rest, so when people bother them and swim up to them they leave. The fines are big and the gamewardens really strict but a lot of people vacationing there have ungodly ammounts of money and see the fine as more of a price of admission.

This is the bay where we snorkled and saw lots of amazing fish. That resort in the back ground is amazing and tremendously expensive!-

After snokeling the crew cooks a big BBQ(veggies too) and then you sail back to Maui during the sunset. This year we saw lots of whales. They were around us all the way out and back. Even while driving from Lahina to Kihei you could look out to the ocean and see them! It was great!

Here are a couple views of the sail back to Maui-

Such a perfect day was made even better by going back to my inlaws condo in Hono Kawai. My mother in law made us fantastic Koren food(she is from Korea) for dinner while we watched the birds in the back yard.

We did a lot of other things, including seeing a Mongoose up close when really we were out looking for donkeys. I will save those strories for another time.

Girls Weekend...Yay!

Well we had a great weekend with our North State girlfriends. We ate a tremendous amount of food and had more fun than I have experienced in a very long time! Our friends house is very nice and looks out into a canyon. It was rainy but I love it rainy; especially when there is a fireplace inside and a hot tub outside.

Early Saturday morning, after a long night of eating way too much sugar and laughing, I stood up from my air mattress, put on my swim suit, got some coffee and sat in the hot tub for a very long time. It was gently raining, the coffee was perfectly sweetened and I was looking out into a beautiful canyon. I really needed it.

Life has been crazy and busy and I have had the flu twice since Xmas. Not really the way I was hoping to bring in the new year but that's okay. Now I just have allergies, which is slightly insulting after not being able to breathe the last 2 months.

But back to the hot tub. I had the most fantastic talk with a friend that morning. A real girl to girl heart fest. I have not done that in a very long time, mostly due to my chronic grumpy status. But we talked about many things and then just sat there and had our coffee. And I felt so much better.

It was a real treat to be in the hot tub in the first place. I finally have my high blood pressure under control, without medication even! It was the first time in 5 years. After the soak I met up with The Wife and we had a lovely breakfast together with the girls.

All together there were 11 women and we had a great time. One of the highlights was getting my hair cut by the lovely Renee, a lady of many talents. It looks so good now. She was super nice and cut it really short just the way I like. I always feel so much better after a haircut. I have a bad habit of letting my hair grow out way too long between cuts, so when I finally give in and have it cut it is a real change. Now it looks nice and has some style! People will not recognize me!

It was a lovely weekend!

Tonight I felt like making some banana bread but did not have enough banana's. I had about half what I needed and so looked through the kitchen trying to come up with something to mix the banana's with. I came up with some pumpkin left over from Thanksgiving. It was canned so no worries the it was too old. I also had some chocolate chips so I put some of them into the batter too. It came out really good-here's the proof.

Girls' Weekend

Last weekend our good friend Twitch had us to her family's cabin up in the North State. In fact it is in the "State of Jefferson." Ever heard of that State? Well if you go up far enough on Hwy. 5, right around the metal dragon, (you can't miss it!) there is a giant billboard welcoming you to, "The State of Jefferson."

They are not joking. There is a faction of North Staters who are fed up with the Southern portion of our fair State and they really truly want to break away and form their own new State called, you guessed it, "The State of Jefferson." Next time I go by I will stop and get a picture of the billboard and post it. It always makes me smile.

The cabin is on a river. The river is not across the street or through the blackberry bushes, the deck is almost jutting out over the water. One year the river was so high you could look down through the decking and see water going under you. I had to stop looking cause I got dizzy and almost fell down!

It is a beautiful place and when you add 10 to 13 of your favorite gal pals it becomes quite quickly a bruhaha. We could open up our own food and liquor store with all the stuff we bring to the cabin. We eat, sleep, walk with wine, (always a favorite, except I don't drink wine so I march with martini!), talk talk talk, laugh until we almost pass out, have a big fire, watch the young boys next door, (they are at least 20,) and eat some more. It is heavenly! We are the only gays in the group, but heck it's girl's weekend so I watch the boys too. Except I have different comments than the other ladies like "Why does that young man have a rifle slung over his back while he is fly fishing?" I rarely hunt and fish at the same time, but hey-that's me. While the other ladies are more curious about some physical attributes of the cute guys next door.

It was a great time and we had so much fun this year. I also got some great feedback about this blog which was fabulous! Queen Shelley of Bunco and her sidekick Flasher Renee made me feel very good by telling me their impression of my writing. It was great and gave me a push to try to write more. Thanks Ladies for the encouragement!

Here is something that came out in that discussion-"I pledge to respond to comments/emails when people indicate they would like that in said comment/emails left on this blog." (That one's for you Flasher Renee!)

This weekend, which is not even over yet, has been nice and quiet. I am going to play a new iteration of my favorite PS2 series, Dynatsy Warriors/Samurai Warriors, until I can't hold the controller anymore. It's called Warriors: Orochi and it is fantastic! Later, The Wife and I are going to eat leftover Chinese food from last night when we had The Brothers over. The Brothers are very sweet, I will tell you about them sometime.

The Joy of Working With Your Hands...

I am not sure I have told you that I am a sign language interpreter. You may have noticed I have not written in several days, this is due to the start of the school year. It really bums me out to want to write and not be able too because my hands are fried by the end of each work day. Most interpreters work heavily during the school year and 1/2 time or not at all during the Summer.

I love my job so much. I am an access point that allows people to cross culturally interact, Deaf people have their own culture just so's you know. It does mean that after working for 7 hours a day I am not able to type or sometimes even open a bottle top. Also it wreaks your brain. Interpreting sign language is not like interpreting other kinds of language. I interpret simultaneously, meaning while the hearing person is talking I do not wait until they are done to start my interpretation into sign language.

Foreign language is done consecutively. Meaning the presenter speaks then stops. Then the interpreter says what was just stated into the target language. It has to be this way in spoken language or the interpreter would be talking over the speaker. Interpreting is like playing the piano or doing calculus for a very very very long time. When I arrive home from work I often look for the most meaningless thing on tv and watch it for half an hour to decompress my aching brain. Like SpongeBob Squarepants, its an after work favorite.

Interpreting sign language is very hard, I use both sides of my brain at the same time and I am actually doing 4 things at the same time-listening, processing, changing it to ASL(which is not English) and then producing a coherent version into sign for the consumer. Have you seen those posters that show brain activity when on certain chemicals? Well I saw one for interpreting and both sides of the brain are bright red(red shows most activity) and an interpreters brain is bright red all over when they are working.

So in a week or two when I can type with both of my hands, I will recommence with the stories. I have a new one to share with you about an 18 wheeler.

A Bar Story

Since I made that comment about “bars with no windows” I have been itching to tell you all of a surreal night I spent in an East Bay gay bar. It’s an odd story, you may not like it but looking back it cracks me up.

I used to live in the South Bay. I liked it down there except I am not generally a big fan of Suburbia. I was in college and didn’t have the option of living far away from campus. I shared an apartment with a nice girl from class and started to venture out to local gay bars. I had a car for the first time in my life that was mine alone. Not the girlfriends or a roommate’s that I could borrow from time to time. It was also the car of a friend who had passed away from AIDS. He was my best friends dad and the only other gay person I had known until I was 15 years old. I made a decision that I would never never drink when I was driving that car, not even one!

I met some people at different bars and they were all nice women I have not seen now for over 10 years. One, a woman named Helen, called me and said she and friends were meeting at a local bar that night and could I join them? Like she had to ask twice? So she told me the name of the place and I got directions.

Ummm, honestly I did not know these people too well and I can be shy at times. Probably like most people are shy when walking into a gay bar alone on a Saturday night, hoping to god someone will at least talk to you, for even just a second so you don’t look quite so out of place. Usually that’s just what happens. It’s what happened the night I met Helen and her friends. They had all grown up in that town and gone to school together. They were really nice to me and I was 13 or more years younger than any of them.

It was hard to decide what to wear so I put on cowboy boots, jeans and a denim and leather shirt. A nice belt and I was set to go. No makeup-I always smear it. Kinda butch right? I like to think so. At the time I had long hair but just let it hang straight back, no bangs or frilly things like that. I am not to big or too small as a person. I am short but I am also not the first or second person in the room I would pick to bother.

So off I go to meet these nice dykes with the butterflies going full force. I arrive and there is a big bar with a huge parking lot. No windows. Doorman and many queers coming in and out. I park and enter looking for them. Not there. Crap. Luckily there was a seat at the bar, I snagged it and ordered some juice. Yeah I got a lot of ribbing for that at bars. Everyone thought I was in AA.

“Your drinking that!” I hear from behind me and swivel around. There’s a huge woman behind me wearing a wife beater and jeans. I mean tall and big here people. This woman was glowering at me “Your on my stool!” She bellowed next.

Oh Shit. What to do? I had no idea but my friends came in so I slid off the stool and joined them, ignoring her. She yelled something more at me as I joined them but I ignored that too.

We had a good time. I could see this woman glaring at me from the pool table when I cared to look. None of these ladies were big drinkers and they were fun to hang out with on top of it! it was getting late so I decided to head home which was kind of far away. Off to the bathroom.

While in the stall I heard someone some go into the second stall. I came out and washed my hands.

“Hey Barbi.” I heard from behind me. There she was. Thankfully another woman came in so I tried to slide between them. But the new woman stopped me and pushed me back to the sink.

“Watch the door” the big woman said to the new one. The new woman backed up and blocked the door.

“We don’t like your kind around here.” She said. I was half wanting to scream and half wanting to laugh. I am from here and I am you! What the hell!

“What’s your problem?” I got out, it even sounded half mean.

“Damn Barbi!” She yelled at me and stepped closer. Is she calling me femme? Am I really about to get beat up in a gay bar because I look too femme? I think so...it dawned on me.

She stepped right up to me and I knew she was gonna knock me down. Auto pilot came on and then someone forcefully pushed open the bathroom door and the lady in front of it fell.

It was Helen. She reached in and grabbed my hand, pulling me away from the big woman who was slow to pick up we were leaving. She guided me back to the table and we gathered up our stuff. It was a huge club and we had been in the back. By the time we got to the one and only exit up front the woman and her friend were standing there with a couple big guys.

We tried to walk by them but one of the guys grabbed my arm. He told me I was being 86’d for bothering patrons(I guess with my pervasive femininity?) and he was going to take my picture so it could be ensured such a security risk as myself would not be allowed onto the premises again. He flashed me with a polaroid before I could protest. He then yelled at me that I was never never to return or the police would be called. While he was saying it the woman and her friend left the bar, I could see them smiling at us from outside the door in the parking lot.

We were ejected. Me and Helen came out into the parking lot and the two women stepped right up on us. We were going to have to fight and these people were going to watch? I was baffled but saw no other choice. The friend got close to Helen, then suddenly the friend was on her knees on the ground-face in the dirt- being held there, with little effort, by Helen.

Helen looked up at the big woman-”This is not going to happen. Just so you know-I’m Karate Instructor, okay? A black belt-and we are all just going to stop and get into our cars and go home, right?” Helen looked at the big woman and then twisted the ladies wrist who was still being held on the ground, she groaned.

“Whatever!” The big woman yelled and turned away. Helen let go of the woman on the ground and she scampered away too.

I looked at Helen? “Are you serious?” Was all I could think to say to her.

“Oh yeah! No joke, kinda funny huh?” She laughed as she walked me to my car.

“Drive safe!” She said shutting my door.

Every once in a while I think about my picture there, tacked up on the wall with all the other trouble makers.

BUNCO!!!!

Perhaps you don't know of this game but it is the best and most fun of all games ever invented. Bunco requires 12 people (in my case we play girls only) 9 die, 12 scorecards, laughter and quite a bit of food and alcohol. We play once a year and I look forward to it the minute it ends. Only once a year, you say, if its so fun why not more often? 12 adult women, with families, jobs and lives in one place for 24 hours is quite a feat and takes a year to pull off.

We meet at our friends house near Sacramento. She is Queen Shelly of Bunco! Every year Queen Shelly hosts us at her lovely home (with pool!) and more than that she cooks for us. We could feed a small nation with the food we have at Bunco. We swim, eat and drink until dark and then the dice start to roll. The game requires a lot of running around between 3 tables for about 2 hours...AND THEN THERE ARE PRIZES!

The best part of Bunco are the prizes. Most wins, most losses, bunco pass around, door prize, most bunco's. Our host has good taste so we all pitch in 20 bucks and she buys the prizes. When you arrive for bunco there is no time for hello and how are you, its where are the prizes? This year the wife (she is a lucky one) won a planter. Other wins over the years have been a neat chest of drawers with wicker drawers (the wife), a great big mirror in a old frame (the wife), a small wooden chest that is great for cd's (me-woo hoo! I got 1).

This year seemed the most fun ever. All 12 of us were there. Wow, 12 women from all over California, all talking at the same time and swimmimg and eating and drinking. It is amazing how well we all get along. The wife and I are the only gays so in a way it is a cultural experience as well. Living in a big city there are tons of gay people. All my oakland friends are gay/queer/ trans/, so hanging out with 10 straight ladies over the years has taught me a lot. Like we aren't very different at all. I love listening to their stories about their husbands and kids. Their lives are so busy and full, even the ones without kids or husbands.

This year when we arrived and Queen Shelly opened the door I looked past her to see what the prizes were. I noticed her living room was entirely full of purses. Prada, Gucci, big bags, small bags all colors of the rainbow. It was a PURSE PARTY!

I am so ready to go to Eugene now!

A Detour off the Street

This morning at 4:45am an earthquake woke me up. While I was waiting to see if the big one would follow I remembered this story and thought it was good enough to take a moment to leave my street.

Recently I went up to Eugene, Oregon. My folks retired up there and it is a nice city. If there was work up there for my wife and I we might think of moving. The wife and I are sign language interpreters. Which is fun and great but means we need to live in a large city to both have enough work. Eugene could not support one of us and as I don't want to work in a book store again we will be staying here in O-town.

It was a slightly stressful trip. My Dad had a tumor that was cancerous near his appendix. All would be fine if it had not spread. The only way to see if it had spread was to remove the tumor and look at his liver. This means he was at stage 0 when he went into surgury and might come out with stage 4 cancer diagnosis. If you are not familiar with cancer stages they are 0-5. You can see that 4 would be serious.

Dad had his surgury and came out fine. He keeps himself in great shape and that really helped him recover quickly too, but it was still stressful. There were many things my Mom, myself and the wife had to do for my Dad. He was on a restricted diet and there were many milestones we had to watch for and if they did not occur we had to either go to the emergency room or call the doctor.

My Mom took care of Dad and the wife and I did the house stuff. One day Dad needed a prescription picked up so we went over to Safeway to get it for him. One thing I love about Eugene is the plethora of Grocery Stores. They are everywhere and no one is in them. Here in Oakland we lack grocery stores. You might not think that is a big deal but one of the implications is that no matter what time you go to the store it is swamped with people. I have tried going at 2 in the morning but the safeway in my neighborhood is humming at that time of day. The best time I have found is around 8 in the morning. But even then it is busy and sometimes out of little things like bread.

So the wife and I love going to food stores in Eugene. We drove into the parking lot and took our pick of the many open spots. As we approached the store I saw a table set up and an old man with war medals sitting there. Behind him was an old woman sitting at one of the picnic tables in front of safeway(I know, they get picnic tables too, I am so jealous!) She was knitting. When I say old these people are in their 80's. I thought they would ask for some money, we would say no and move on.

As we walk up the old man stood up, says hello and steps right in front of us.

"Here you go ladies, I have a small poppy for you to commemorate veterans day. Would you like to make a small donation?" Here in Oakland I am asked for money everyday and rarley give it out. In fact yesterday at work I was told by a young man to give him a dollar. We had a nice talk about it and I dont think he will be demanding money from me again. So, I think I have become a little hard about the money giving. I also think as I look at this man that he defended our country and (mostly) I want to get my Dad's RX and go home. So I reach for my wallet.

He hands the wife a small fake poppy flower and smiles at her.
"It goes on your purse honey, it's got a bendy stem," and he points at her purse. I can see the old lady's purse from where I am standing and she's got several of the flowers. Then he goes to hand me one and stops short.

"Where's your purse honey?" he says.
"I dont use a purse." I reply.

I saw him look up, like when you are doing a really hard math problem and you look away into the distance to concentrate fully. He looked back.

"I think you left your purse in the car, honey."
"Um, I don't carry a purse. Not my style."
"But ladies put the flower on their purse."
"Can I just have the flower, I can put it in my buttonhole?"
"No, men put the american flag in their button hole." And there on the table is a pile of small american flags.

"Maybe she locked it in the trunk?'" This is from the old lady, she is now interested enough to look up.
"No, I dont-"
"Or its still at home on the kitchen counter." says the lady.
"Yep you've done that." laughs the old man.
"I don't carry a purse!" I say a little hotly. But by now the two old people are listing off the many places that women inadvertantly leave their purses and I cannot break in. So I nudge the wife and we throw a dollar on the table and run in to the cover of the store.

I was not sure at the time and am still not sure if this was the subtlest form of homophobia I have ever experienced or the reason why there are never any people at the grocery store in Eugene.